“Here are a few reasons why this style of machine might suit your exorcize needs.”

That sentence is absolute gold.

We had just been out looking at exercise equipment. At the last store we visited, we were shown a couple of TreadClimbers, and we were beginning to think that one of those things would be more effective than an elliptical machine.

Time to do some research.

And that’s when I stumbled across a sentence so incongruous that it gets the honour of being quoted in full as the title of a Blogofiles post.

“Is the TreadClimber Right for You?

Here are a few reasons why this style of machine might suit your exorcize needs.”

Best BowFlex TreadClimbers of 2021

I’m intrigued.

How exactly might this style of machine might suit my exorcize needs? I didn’t even know I had exorcize needs, so you’ve got my attention. Tell me more.

Deus Ex Machina

My first thought was of the phrase Deus Ex Machina. I didn’t quite know what it meant, but it conjured up the idea of ‘ghost in the machine’.

I found that it means, loosely translated, ‘god from the machine’. Close.

Then I found a definition of Deus Ex Machina when it is used specifically in relation to movies:

Deus Ex Machina is a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem is suddenly and abruptly resolved by the inspired and unexpected intervention of some new event, character, ability or object.

Poll: Disappointing Deus Ex Machina moments, IMDb

Bingo!

I didn’t even know I had exorcism needs (problem); I didn’t know what to do with it (seemingly unsolvable). But, after just a little bit of searching, I now know this:

The Bowflex® TreadClimber® is the machine, the new object that will unexpectedly intervene to resolve abruptly the problem I didn’t know I had, let alone knew how to resolve.

Ever the sceptic – it’s not a bad attribute for a copy-editor to be a fact-checking cynic – I decided to dig deeper to see if the truth was, in fact, out there.

Where better to continue the search but on YouTube, that great conduit of truth and fact?

Ghost on a treadmill

And this is what I found. Type in “ghost on a treadmill” and you’ll see some examples of, well, ghosts on treadmills. See if you can find the one that I think is probably a hoax. I’ll wait for you.

But, perhaps the most eerie ghost-on-treadmill story goes to Michael Bates, whose story starts like this:

At the gym today, I saw the ghost of me. His image materialized six feet in front of me on the window overlooking the squash courts. I was striding in place on an elliptical machine. Cast in shades of gray, he appeared to occupy a space between two worlds, mine and one of shadows. He bounced up and down, a reflection methodically running toward me but getting no closer. He looked maybe 15 years older. An old bald man well into decline but trim and relentless. I was thankful I couldn’t see his eyes, only darkness. The more I stared the more familiar the image became. My oxygen-deprived brain was perceiving signals heretofore beyond range. I was watching a broadcast of what will become of me. The soundless, subliminal message was clear: “I’m coming for you.”

https://michaelbales.com/treadmill-ghost/

I won’t spoil it for you by telling you what happens next.

What about you?

What is the funniest typo you’ve ever come across?

What is the worst typo you’ve ever committed, or saved yourself from committing? 

If you have a typo that you think could be the subject of a blog post – a typo with an unintended story of its own telling – I’d love to hear from you. Give me the outline of the story, or leave it to me, and I’ll see if I can dedicate a post to it.